Day 33

I think I shared some of my dark thoughts with Matt this weekend. I've realized that it's become an issue and I need to read about what to do to not have these thoughts. I also think I'm going to be limiting my drinking for awhile so I can really get a handle on these things. 

 I've started following a bunch of podcasts and am reading articles about which books help with this type of thought process. I believe I have a inferiority complex as well as a hard time feeling vulnerable with others. Thankfully there's a lot to learn on both subjects which makes me feel hopeful. I don't want to be the crazy one that ends the marriage because I pushed Matt away. 

 I've thought about counselling but want to try things on my own first. If I still feel this way in 4 months, or worsen in the next 4 months,  then I will go talk to someone. 

 I also know that a lot of this has to do with work and how bad it is. I really need to step up my game with finding a new career. 

 Today my goals are:
Vaccum 
Finish the quilt
Listen to 1-2 podcasts
Watch 1-2 UX Design courses.  

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