100 Days

I have to make this one quick. I got to the gym today! I ran 2 miles then did a boatload of situps. I just checked in for tomorrow's flight. I really wanted to run because last night I started getting dark thoughts after swirling about my job and how so not fun it is. There are decent days at best and there's nothing I'm particularly jazzed about ever. I asked Ryan if he had any openings for firms that are expanding. After this weekend I'm really going to dive in and attack everything about finance so I can be #1 better at my job and #2 better at a financial advising job. I hate that I'm already looking for a new job, but I really don't think I can make it in mine for much longer unless I give up my will and completely drown myself in hating life like it seems everyone else has done. So I went to bed at 9 pm and went for a run this morning. It helped a bit, but I should have ran harder....

Yesterday was an interesting day. Work was really hard. I'm with stephanie and she really likes to complain about her job. Granted there are a ton of parts that really suck and it's not the most supportive role I have ever been in, but there have been worse jobs. After having a day of that I went home and Bridget and Ryan picked us up. We then went out on the boat and cruised around for a couple of hours. I really enjoy doing that even when it's cold. We then went and checked out a little wine and chocolate bar which is my newest favorite place to go. Needless to say I'm nursing quite the headache today.  I've decided to start making a list of things that I'm grateful for. I want the list to be at least 5 things long.  Today I'm grateful for: My health Charles Matt Vegetables Strong Coffee Autocorrect Spelling Mistakes Dishwashers  Candles  Fall 

I missed yesterday! I actually missed the whole weekend as well so it was a total of three days. This last weekend was fantastic. We went to Saratoga to see our friends Maggie and her fiance Alex. We went on a wonderful hike, drank amazing beer, saw their ADORABLE town, and went to the race track. The weather was perfect and never too hot for all of our adventures, and everything tasted wonderful. I haven't hung out with Maggie in the past 4 years, but she's really sweet and I'm excited that she's so close now. In the next few years as they cut up Matt's territory, we're going to have quite the decision to make in the next few years - Saratoga or Buffalo. We decided it really matters where I get a job!  It was lovely being with Maggie and Alex because it made me realize how much Matt and I have grown this past year. We've really grown as a couple and as adults in our relationship. It's really apparent with how we speak to one another, our plans we...

I feel like I could sleep for a week. I'm exhausted. I woke up at 3 ready to take on the day and fell back asleep around 6 when I should have gotten up to workout. I have been so bad at working out this MONTH. I really need to incentivise myself with working out somehow. On the bright side I am washing my hair twice a week now. Last night I went to Bridgette and Ryan's house and we made dinner. We had a squash salad - with bacon - and roasted chicken. Although the bacon and chicken were cooked perfectly, I really didn't prefer them. It was the first meat I've had all week. In just a week, my palate has changed. Tonight we're going to Saratoga springs and I'm really excited about it. It'll be great to get out and go hiking and see a different part of New York state. I need some coffee

Gail decided to come up last night and alter my dress. We took off the train so I can walk a little easier in Nebraska. It's interesting how much different it feels to wear without the train.  It was so nice to have her over. She makes me want to work harder to become the person I want to become. I want to be seriously happy, not aloof or too serious or anything. I want to be deeply happy. I think that's a wonderful goal to strive to be.  As the morning sun crawls above my townhouse and rises above the darken streetlights, I can see it begin to wake up the townhomes across the parking lot. It was only a week ago when the sun was up and ready for the day at five. It's seven now. Although I do enjoy rolling over and not being woken prematurely by the early sun, I'm not excited about the bitter winters that happen in this area where the sun doesn't ever get past the gloomy clouds and the snow doesn't leave until spring. This is also the time where the billio...

Good Morning Today I'm working on keeping my thoughts positive versus critical. I noticed yesterday that I was a little too critical of too many things, and that's not how things should be. I mostly found myself thinking that I'm still not good at my job and that everyone is thinking it at work. I overheard my boss on a conference call gleaming about our newest addition who 'was a lifesaver' with her 20 years of experience. I realized I am usually the person that people say those things about. Instead of being negative and wallowing in this feeling, I'm trying to push her up and empower here as well as help in any way possible. I also am trying to be my own cheerleader and still work on the things I'm not the best at. It's obvious that I'm not the best at this incredibly detail oriented job, and also that I really don't give a damn about it. I am really trying though. I'm hoping that I'll care once I really get into this job... In oth...

Man, eating like a bird really makes you poop. It's been some interesting mornings the last couple of days in that regard, but other than that I feel great! I have energy and I feel really skinny. This new diet could really stick! I overcooked the granola bars so they're more like granola than bars. Today I'm going to eat them with milk in a bowl with a spoon. I'm also making us 'smoked almond and chickpea salad sandwiches.' It's the vegan take on a chicken salad sandwich with a bunch of goodies like smoked almonds and avocado instead of mayo. I'm pretty excited. Tonight we're making a corn chowder which looks like it's going to be amazing. Yesterday was the eclipse and everyone in America was astounded. It sounds like Nebraska had quite the event with a full black out for over a minute. It didn't really look abnormal in New York state, nor California according to Richie. The only difference I could see was that the flare on my camera len...

I woke up and went to the gym today! Cycling class on monday mornings are my favorite. Although I did find out my favorite teacher is taking a month off to travel so that might change for a while. She's great though. She's a super hippie who believes in the gems and moon stuff. She's always talking the whole class and singing to the music - it's great! We'll see what next week brings. Today is the solar eclipse. People are saying it the first one in 20 years and will be the last one for 17. It's passing over Rochester from 2 to 3 today with the most overlap happening at 2:30. I can't wait to see what kind of hippie stuff was 'mediated on during the full solar eclipse.' They're really going wild with the 'super charged from the moon.' It's great. This weekend was lovely. Matt and I really just spent time with each other. Friday we were supposed to go to a Santana concert, but ended up just lounging on the couch and going to bed ear...

Ugh I'm tired. Matt got in at 2 last night and it had charlie all excited so I woke up at like 1:30 and didn't go back to bed for a couple of hours. Then I set my alarm at 6 instead of 7 and couldn't go back to sleep UNTIL 7. What a night. I also woke up to my cousin having a hard time finding a hotel to book the night of our reception in Lincoln, which I find kind of funny because she's apparently a pretty successful lawyer. I think I'll like her. Apparently she actually GOES OUT with her husband and gets a babysitter for her children. Vanessa and my mom were appalled. Our neighbor gave us tickets to go see Santana tonight. We have not been to a concert out here tonight and I think this would be the perfect one to go to. Rochester doesn't really get any current big name bands and Santana is a pretty big deal to everyone. It's out on the lawn in Canadagua. We're going to pack a blanket and our rain jackets and drink wine while listening to the concert!...

I am a vegetarian now and I want to be a vegan. I watched Okja last night and cried from pretty much 5 minutes in and on. I just can't do it. I can't eat meat anymore. I've been trying to be vegetarian but haven't really had much wind behind my sales. Okja was the push I needed. I couldn't even finish it. Today I'll be eating granola with Silk milk, and will be buying lunch because I have none. I am appalled by how food is produced even though that show was filtered through the hollywood lense. There's always a shred of truthfulness behind those kind of movies. I had to watch Madam Secretary - a show I usually have to watch something else to calm down from - to calm down from Okja. I didn't sleep until around midnight. Because of this I snoozed my alarm for about an hour and didn't make it to the gym at 6. I did do some lunges here and intend on continuing to do them throughout the week. It only took ten minutes. I can totally do that a couple ti...

I am so bad at working out. I haven't went at all this week! I also haven't washed my hair which is equally appalling. I could just not get it going this morning. I'm excited to have Matt out of the house for a couple days. I always get in a better rhythm with him gone. I'm incredibly tired this morning for some reason. I really could sleep for the rest of the morning. I've made my 'cowboy coffee' for the day. It's the kind that has the grits that stay in the coffee you drink a little longer and possibly while you drink it. It takes on a thicker texture where you could be drinking coffee or you could be drinking sludge. It's one of my favorite 'specialty' coffees from a french press. It's really from not seeping your coffee properly. Regardless it gets the job done magnificently. Charlie is staring at me with his side eye and judging look. He needs to go outside but he's too proud and too patient to start scratching on the doo...

It is so cold in our house this morning. I am shivering. The nights are getting colder which sounds lovely except that means snow is coming. I feel like this winter will be a bit harder than last. That will be great for skiing but I'm not that excited about it for everything else. Yesterday was a great time with Bonnie. We didn't end up doing everything I had planned, but quite a bit of it. We went out to lake Ontario and walked out on the pier. Charlie came with us and was EXHAUSTED and got a little overheated. We then took him home and ate our picnic at home instead of on a beach. Afterwards we went to the Genesee brewhouse. We had beer and a brownie that put us in such a daze we had to go back and take a nap. She then went to the airport and back home. It was so nice to have her. She kept bringing up the time I moved from Nebraska with a shake in her voice. I know she misses me but I am doing so much better away from Nebraska than I ever would in Nebraska. Today I...

August 14th. I missed blogging over the weekend! Our Pennsylvania reception was a hit on all levels. There was nothing that could have improved it. It is magnificent to have my mom in town and she's really relaxing. When she's back in Nebraska she has to take care of so many people all of the time she rarely gets time to herself to do whatever she wants to do. This weekend she has only had to take care of herself and most of the time I was fussing over her or Gail and Steve were fussing over themselves with her. I think she's really had a great time. She came in on Friday and we spent dinner at Owl house. The evening was beautiful and warm. We all had fantastic food and Matt and I drank some beer. When we got home we opened up another bottle of wine and I got a little too drunk. Once again I told her how I felt when she talked about me being a teacher, that she really needs to get a plan for when she dies, and as funny as it sounds and as big of a deal it was, I can...

August 12th  Well I got drunk last night. I ended up telling my mom how I feel about teaching - never a fun subject with her, how badly she needs to set up her life before she passes - to which she replied that she's never going to get old, and that I wanted my wedding reception night to be all about us and for our family to hang out with us too much - to which she was offended.  So that's good. I've had to drink four huge glasses of water to balance everything out this morning and my lips are really chapped.  Matt left about a half an hour ago to go to bradford. Him and Ryan went to Bradford early to get started golfing. I believe quite a few others are joining them later today. My mom and I are going to Bradford with Bridgett later today. We're planning on leaving around 9:45 putting us there around noon.  I'm pretty excited about today. I think it's going to be a really lovely time! I'm thinking I'll wear a jcrew dress that I've been wanting...

August 11th Everything is ready for my mom to come today! She's staying for the weekend for the Bradford Reception. We've cleaned the house, washed her sheets, changed the gross shower curtain, and I'm going to wipe out my car on my way to work. It'll be so nice to see her! I'm really thankful to have her so far away. It makes these visits that much more special. In other news, no one is going to be at the office with me today, so I'm wearing workout clothes and no makeup. I went to the gym today to lift weights and didn't really sweat. I plan on wearing the same clothes to work no matter how gross that is. I also got bit by a bug yesterday and my foot has swollen up so big wearing my shoes is a bit of a pain. I feel like the pressure is helping with the swelling though. Lastly, I started Macbeth last night. I got twenty pages into the prologue where it simply explains what to expect in the book and how to read shakespeare. From what I remember in hi...

August 10th I've been more consistent with my blog than the gym! I need to get better at that if I want to look like wonder woman. She was so strong and beautiful! I want her arms and legs without the work behind them. I also haven't washed my hair this week. It's really bad. I don't even want to run my fingers through it.  My coffee pot is boiling and I have a face mask on my face. Hopefully this reduces the size of the monster pimple on my cheek without making it look like a bruise. That'd be a bad thing to have during all of the pictures for this weekend.  I don't think I want a smoothie this morning either. I think I'd rather have something warm, like eggs. We don't have any bread in the house so it'll have to be eggs. We also don't have cheddar cheese in the house so they're going to be really bland.  Last night we went out to dinner with our friends Steve and Katie. It was adorable how in love they are. They're less than a y...

August 9th  Why are Wednesdays the hardest days to workout on? I have never liked to and I can always talk myself out of it every morning. As I sit here with my coffee and undeserved smoothie, I think about how much better I'd feel if I had gotten up and went to my cycling class. I'd say I hope I workout on Wednesdays but man oh man do I hate doing that.  I'm also deciding on if I want to wash my hair today. I was told by my hair stylist to only wash it three times a week, but if I don't workout on Wednesdays I can get by with two times a week. I can't believe how thick it's gotten by doing this. It's extremely healthy and I barely have any fallout or breakage now. It's a miracle cure I'm telling you.  Work was alright yesterday. Justin actually complemented some of the things I do. I don't live off of his approval but it's such a rare occurrence it really is something to note. It wasn't on anything big, just that I'm sounding m...

August 8th 2017 What a good start to my day! I got up and went to the gym - first tuesday in a long time. There I lifted weights and did a bunch of sit-ups. Now I'm home and you guessed it, made a blueberry smoothie. It's everything. I used frozen blueberries that we picked from a farm a few weeks back, a way to ripe banana, a nearly spoiled apple and soy milk. It's a little frozen and just like a milkshake! I texted Matt's dad about it since he also has an appreciation for blueberry smoothies. Matt is in Albany today and stayed there last night. Normally when he goes on trips I know about it and plan all of my things when he's gone. Normally I paint my toes, get a face mask going, pluck the hairs around my face no one but me notices, and really binge watch a show or complete a project. I didn't know he was going this time though so I didn't have anything planned! It was really weird having the house to myself. I didn't really like it. I started hear...

Monday August 7th 2017.  I didn't sleep last night. Call it anxiety, call it caffeine, I'm not sure the reasoning but I barely slept two hours over all. I kept planning little aspects of my life that are terrible decisions in the daylight.  Blueberry smoothie cleanse sounds so magnificent and easy in the middle of the night.  I have recently realized that my vocabulary and grammar are not what I thought they were, and that reading and writing more would improve them. I'm going to try to blog everyday for 100 consecutive days and see if anything changes.  As I sit here in Rochester New York, drenched in lavender essential oil, drinking my french press coffee, my husband is avoiding getting ready for his day upstairs. He's enjoying this time to himself and looking at the news or playing a game on his phone. I just messaged him that I need to use the shower in 5 to 10 minutes so he needs to get it together. The shower just started.  We just got married in cent...